The Never Normal

Jonah has a new favorite song – “Topaz” by the B-52s, on the album Cosmic Thing.

“Our hearts are traveling faster,
Faster than the speed of love
Straight through a tear in the clouds
Up to the heavens above…”

I think it sounds like the Tom Tom Club, who used to play with the Talking Heads.

On Saturday I wasn’t feeling well and suddenly, neither was Jonah – as if he could catch something from me immediately.  My mom and I brought lunch as usual, and we’ve also brought water to Andy in jugs each week, since he has hard water (sounds like an oxymoron to me).  Jonah ate well, then requested more food, and more food, and more food.  More, even, than usual; we had to cut him off. 

During both rides he requested “Topaz?”  – a song I didn’t remember.  Andy put the album in and Jonah nodded along to it in the backseat on the ride to the transfer station.

He’s starting to feel a little icky but still has a small smile

When we returned to the apartment I curled up on the couch.  I watched Andy pull a chair nearby and take Jonah in his arms.  Boo listened, and occasionally watched, “Train on TV.”  He melted into Andy’s arms and sucked his thumb.  We both lay, sickening with every moment, he and I.  It was a weird “E.T. and Elliott” feeling.

For a moment I indulge in the E.T. fantasy.  Like E.T. I languish while Boo rises up, and out, of how sick he felt.  My organs fall sleep as his brain begins awakening, rearranging itself into the neurotypical  — just like any other boy…communication at the cost of utter innocence.  My heart pulses weakly and stops.  A very fair trade.  But like E.T., I come to life again and some UFO peeps take me back to my home planet.

I found so much comfort in the incredible love he has for his daddy – for how inviting and strong daddy’s arms are for our little Boo.

In truth, though, there was no E.T. outcome.  We both stayed sick, Jonah later throwing up and me returning home, escaping to sleepy bye land.

But we both recovered quickly, and Jonah has had good days since, swinging high on the playground right outside his window, then jumping off and running free – faster, even, than the speed of love.