This morning I met Jonah, J, and P (his transporter/caregivers) for Boo’s retina doctor appointment.
It was raining out as I walked over to the van to greet them, and people going into the building either had umbrellas or were running to get to a dry place. But I love being out in warm rain (and even pouring rain, if I’m at my house so I can go inside and change). Jonah’s like me. He stepped down from the van to the pavement and we danced around in the rain for a minute before going inside. I greeted him with kiss and blue octopus and fruit snacks, and he was in a happy mood. He sat nicely in the waiting room, too.
fruit snacks + blue octopus = happy jonah
As we waited in the exam room for the doc, he sat on his legs, facing the back of the chair. Then he lowered his torso and let me scratch his back and give him a little massage. More here, he’d say, moving my hand to the spot he wanted scratched. He even stuck his butt in the air. “You scratch your own butt,” I told him, and he giggled. He does have a sense of humor, my Boo. He asked for kisses on his elbow, shoulder, head, and belly. I tickled him and got more laughs.
He never lets me do this and it is wonderful. Rare like a jewel.
He lifts his shirt so I can scratch and rub and kiss his back. Kiss neck? he asks, and I happily oblige, pouring a weeks’ worth of love and affection into every touch and every kiss, whispering to him how much I love him, how he is my angel.
Boo was great for the doctor, too, tipping his head back like a pro for the eye drops. The pressure in both eyes was 12 (very good) and the doc said she could see the back of the left eye some, finally. When she tested that eye, he pulled his usual bullshitting: “A…X…J…G” – no matter what the letters really were…as if he thought he could outsmart us by declaring the letters with confident, rapid clarity. So I’m in the corner laughing with P and then the doc tries holding her fingers up instead, and he could tell her how many fingers correctly from about a foot away. This is super-encouraging because it means there is still sight in Jonah’s left eye. And maybe it’ll even improve. Best news of the day, hands down.
My boy has had a good week behaviorally, following a crappy week. I’m starting to accept the uncertain cycle of this, for the time being anyway.
I’m writing so much that these newly-August weeks are filled with work; I took on a temporary assignment for standardized test passages in addition to my other job with Modest Needs. I have two deadlines swiftly approaching. That’s just fine with me. When you love to do something, they say, it ceases to be work – and I agree. I love my job(s). At the tender age of 43, I’ve been set free of the rat cage. It almost feels like retirement, sans boredom. I have nothing to complain about. No matter what happens, I have been blessed. Nothing can take that away.
Tomorrow my mom and I will drive down to Rhinebeck as usual, hoping Boo will be like he was today – but even if he’s aggressive and impossible to handle, he can see out of both eyes, and that’s what I’ll be most thankful for, no matter which Jonah the world hands us.
The Never Normal 