Archive for December, 2020

merry christmas

From our family to yours, with humble thanks for your support and encouragement throughout this and every year. It means more to me than you’ll ever know.

A special thank you to Briana for the wonderful photo of Boo!


Amy & Jonah

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the newest normal

The story has a better ending than beginning, fear not.

After talking to Briana, I scheduled both a zoom call for Wednesday the 16th and a campus visit on Friday the 18th at the visitor center. When the time for our zoom call rolled around, however, Jonah didn’t want to talk and of course we didn’t want to force him. I began to question the wisdom of the in-person visit and was further distracted by a huge snowstorm that dumped more than 2 feet of snow Wednesday night into Thursday.

But then I decided to try it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I knew I’d need someone with me – someone relatively strong, reasonably brave, willing to be attacked, and ready to sacrifice half their day to this endeavor. The list of people fitting this description included two obvious choices; when the first couldn’t do it, the second stepped up. And so it came to pass that on Friday, December 18th at 2pm, I arrived at Jonah’s house armed with my companion and a 2-cheeseburger meal from McDonald’s. Briana brought Jonah out and escorted us to one of the village center’s second floor “apartment” doors. As she unlocked the door and let us in, Jonah immediately threw his coat on the floor, but she wasn’t having it. After her admonishment, he picked up his coat and put it on the couch. Briana gave a thumbs-up and left us to our visit.

The mock apartment included a spacious living room area, complete with a large TV and DVD player, a couch, loveseat, and some single chairs. At one end was a window, and by the window a small table and chairs. Behind that was a kitchen, complete with microwave and dishwasher, garbage can, sink, and cleaning supplies. Across the room from the kitchen was a large bathroom with a swinging door.

When I tell you it was the best visit I’ve had with Jonah in recent memory, I don’t mean to paint an extravagant picture. Jonah ate his McDonald’s and watched Jungle Book. I did not give off the please don’t flip out vibe. I brought a large deck of cards, part of a game he wouldn’t care about. He grasped and tapped them throughout our visit.

Every so often I asked him if he wanted to go back to the house or if he wanted more video.

“Video,” he answered each time, calmly. When he wanted more drink, he asked “black soda?” and at one point he said “bathroom” and walked past me through the swinging door to pee. We hung out in the same room. I understood his words. It was beautifully mundane.

He moved once from the big couch to the love seat, content to hunker down and hang out. We’d reserved the room from 2-3pm, but as 3pm approached, it became apparent Jonah was settled in. I texted Briana to ask if we needed to vacate at 3, and when she said yes, I started a 5 minute countdown for Boo.

(He’s holding the cards I gave him)

He did great. I cleaned, packed everything up, and we trooped down the stairs. “Walk,” he said, so I took a side path to extend our time a bit. Back at the house, Briana came out to get him; I managed a quick hug before he went inside.

When the door shut behind my boy, I felt a rush of relief. We’d done it, somehow, incident-free. Maybe Jonah had been in a particularly good mood. Maybe all the stars were aligned, or Divinity intervened. Maybe we just got lucky. Whatever the case, I’m amazed and happy. I reckon I’ll try another zoom call soon, and aim to visit in person again sometime in January.

One note about Andy – we stopped visiting together. Recently, he told me Jonah doesn’t care if I visit, and I got upset: He called today and apologized to me, offering a clarification: When he said Jonah didn’t care if I visited him, he meant we. As in, Jonah doesn’t care if we visit. Fair enough. I wish Andy happiness and only the best of everything. I hope we can visit Jonah together someday.

I’ve been crafting with the rocks again, making some into magnets for Christmas gifts. I painted a bunch more to hide in the park.

One day before the snow, I was walking Jack through the park right when the school kids were on recess. Most of them came over to say hello and pet him, and I asked if any of them had seen painted rocks around. They got all excited and started talking at once. Yes! I got an alien! I found a fish!

One girl asked if I was the one who leaves them. I smiled behind my mask and answered yes – and I tell you those kids went freaking nuts. Jumping up and down, running to tell their teacher. One serious lad looked at me in earnest. “I’ve been trying to figure out who it was for weeks,” he said, like he’d just discovered Santa mid-chimney. I was so happy. I’ve been thinking about opening a shop on Etsy, but honestly I don’t need the money and I enjoy the idea of making random people’s days a little brighter.

Before I left the kids that day, I asked them if I should keep putting rocks around the park. YES! YAY! they all shouted in affirmative chorus. So I managed to leave 5 or 6 more before the storm buried everything. I figure if I make more magnets, I can put them on the basketball court fence or street sign poles, high enough to stay out of the snow but low enough for kids to see.

For now I’m just resting in the knowledge that I can see my son successfully. It’s possible for us to forge a path ahead. And really, that’s about all I can ask for from the remainder of this crappy-ass year.

Happy holidays, my peeps. Bring on 2021!

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