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Archive for December, 2014

Where Jonah is concerned, the best place to be — the most dreamed of, sought-after, wondrous, asked-for place — is Grandma’s House.

For a variety of reasons, it has remained thus since he was a baby.  (Of course the best part of Grandma’s House is grandma herself).

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Jonah’s sitting on grandma’s counter in this picture, taken Christmas Day. I was sick and kind of weak; I tried to get a good picture of them standing side by side, but to no avail.  I wanted to show how Boo’s only a few inches shorter than my mom now, which would make him about 5′ or 5’1″ at not-yet-thirteen.  His growth seems to be happening, somehow, more quickly than before, as if I’d looked away for months and finally turned around to see him.

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I’m kind of wan in this pic, but Jonah’s all smiles.

Here are a few great pics we took in December:

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I love the way that last one came out, with all things notJonah softened.  It’s almost as if I knew what I were doing when I took the picture; ’twas luck, alas, and nothing more.  (For kickass-quality photography you can visit my sistercousin DiAnna’s website).

Then a few weeks ago Jonah started in a new classroom.  He was aggressing regularly in the other one, even on days when all seemed fine at his house.  His teachers and therapists thought maybe he was bored or unchallenged.  So far he hasn’t had a major aggression in the new room, so they were probably right.  I know Jonah’s bright, but it’s hard to know how much of that light we’re going to be able to coax from behind the clouds.  So far so good.

He’s been a happy kid, mostly, at any rate.  He adores his daddy and got to spend two overnights in a row at his apartment recently, which is right up there with Grandma’s House on Jonah’s list of preferred places to visit.

Lately Jonah’s developed a keen interest in his wardrobe and, more recently, in others’ as well.  He’s got two pair of sneakers at daddy’s place – one blue, one green – and he’ll tell you in no uncertain terms which he wants.

The other night Andy put him on the phone with me.  Jonah’s definitely not one to dominate a conversation, so I asked him a lot of questions he could answer with “yes” or “no.”

Eventually I said bye bye, Boo; mama loves you.  Jonah answered byebyemama and handed the phone back to Andy.  I heard Jonah ask twice: mama comin’ in? to which Andy automatically replied: 13 hours.

It seems to satisfy Jonah to have a number – any number – I think so he feels like what he wants is comin’…and when.

Then, in the background, I heard Jonah say:  Light green shirt? Andy answered no, buddy, This shirt is good.  I guess Boo’s new thing is to decide upon not only his own clothes but his father’s as well.  Sometimes Andy capitulates, allowing Jonah a glimpse into one possible career path toward fashion or wardrobe design.

I can just see him in Hollywood, pulling at a “wrong-colored” costume donned by Jennifer Lawrence, insisting no! no!

A few weeks ago I traveled to Bloomington to see Tim perform in a holiday concert with the Quarryland Men’s Chorus, which was as awesome as it could be.  Tim had a short solo in one song, and after both performances, audience members sought him out to compliment him.  I stood at his side, grinning proudly as if I were the one responsible for Tim’s mellifluous bass.

Tim's in the middle of the back row, with the long blonde hair & awesomely full beard

Tim’s in the middle of the back row, with the long blonde hair & awesomely full beard

Tim also gifted me with the best Christmas present I’ve likely ever received – but for now it’s just between us (and, due to my uncontainable excitement, two friends whom I swore to secrecy).

* 12-29-14 * NOTE:  Now lots of folk are guessing Tim gave me an engagement ring, and I’ll put that rumor to rest.  We’ve been in a long distance relationship for just 5 months.  And this gift is better, presently, than the prospect of marriage — to anyone!

We are happy.

We are happy.

And so life is good.

I am getting used to being cold, bundling up with resignation and maybe even complacency against my chosen 55 degree home temperature.  The no lights thing is actually more difficult – I go through candles like boxes of Tagalongs at Girl Scout cookie time, and I now have an oil lamp.  Since the days are so short, I want to go to bed at around 6 or 7, like an old lady.

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I get out every day, when I can motivate, and I fight winter blues/being alone/stagnation, reminding myself that every day now, the days are lengthening. There is much to do and plenty to look forward to with the excitement of this new year coming – 2015 rising like a glorious dawn.

I know the journey truly is the destination, and this one feels really right.

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Today Jonah is participating in Giving Tuesday’s coolest concept; our country as neighbors.  Modest Needs is a grassroots, BBB top rated national nonprofit existing to help those who need one-time assistance to jump a lifehurdle. People from around the USA help each other out of rough spots.

At Modest Needs, donors give what they can, and nearly 70% of recipients give back, becoming donors themselves.  This means even one moneycoin piece is exponentially impactful; the cycle of kindness turns unceasingly!

Jonah had limited moneycoin pieces, and wanted to give, and was very sad; I chipped in so he could help.  Today we’re going to join with thousands of others to make the difference in the lives of people who work hard to manage but are in danger of becoming impoverished due to an unexpected or emergency expense.

Will you please give just one moneycoin piece, for cute-even-when-he’s crying Boo’s sake?

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Jonah knows that any moneycoin is more moneycoin than before.

And please check out this awesome video they just released, featuring three families, one with a child who has autism.

Oh, and like it, if you do like it.

Thank you so much.

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Boo loves you and is happy again.

(Best of all, I get to work for the people doing this!)

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I got to see Boo twice this week, which was awesome, and he was a happy kid both times, which was even better.

On Thanksgiving Day my mom had home-made all kinds of traditional dinner dishes and then, as she has been doing for several years now, portioned it out into containers for Andy and for me.  She’s an awesome woman and grandmother and mom, and I sometimes can’t believe what she will do for the people she loves.  Her heart is big, and full, and loving.

She even makes her father’s stuffing (my “poppy,” who died in 1999)  – an amazing and difficult concoction of deliciousness I can’t even begin to describe.

Andy brought Jonah up around 11:30am – Jonah’s always begging for “grandma’s house?” and so this was indeed a grand occasion.  We even had a beautiful day, for it had snowed the day before and there were 8 inches or so on the ground, white still newly-clinging to the branches and bushes against a happy blue sky.

Because we had our dinners packed up to eat later, my mom had also made sandwiches for our lunch.  Jonah, however, likes to search every compartment, cabinet and crevice for different and unusual food choices- especially at grandma’s house.   There was bacon in the freezer, cooked pieces my mom makes a few at a time and then stores away for later.   Once he saw that, Boo knew what he wanted.   If you listen carefully at the very end, he comes over to me and says “and the boobie,” evidently intending to fish down my shirt.  Not happening, kiddo.

He even got to see a train, on a car ride a few minutes after that video was taken.  Sometimes it’s not until I watch videos of Jonah that I realize his level of functioning (both below, above, and beyond others) and can see how very different he is from other children.  I don’t spend a whole lot of time with kids in general, and when I do, they seem like mini-adults or special other creatures who act and look like strange little beings with superskills.

This video from yesterday is an example, too.  Jonah listens to and likes what he likes, without shame or any concept of cool and uncool — none of that “these songs are for toddlers and I’m going on 13.”  I love it.  It’s all very loud; Jonah likes his music cranked.  In the video he says he wants black soda, but quickly decides to try and thieve both mine & my mom’s white sodas.  Having succeeded in making off with mine, the fun begins.

Oh, he is a funny, sweet little boy when he’s happy.  Lately he has been exploring a little more music but definitely has his favorites (his current favorite song is Prince’s Sign of the Times and he asks for it over and over by announcing its track number.

In this video from yesterday he’s jammin’ to Third Base.  He looks like a little gangster, silly Boo.

He hasn’t been great in school lately – more aggressions.  The school called me last week and said they were going to have a meeting about Jonah and whether or not it might be better to transfer him to a different classroom.  The concern is that he’s bright, and bored, and needs more to keep him occupied.  You shine like the sun, my son!  We’ll work together to get you the best schooltime possible.

We have a special relationship, Boo and I, for I am also unconcerned these days with what’s cool, and we rock and sing and love together.

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(I think he knows his mama is a little nuts).

Which brings me to my great winter experiment, by which I use neither heat nor lights.  I think I should start a new blog (or maybe a heading under this one) where I discuss things not Jonah-related.  So if you see a new tab up on my main page, that’s why.  If I had all day to write I would make five or six separate blogs about all kinds of things….

So anyway, for today I’ll just keep it here.  I have turned my heat up to 55, having been warned that it’s the lowest temperature at which I can set the thermostat to keep my pipes from freezing.  To be honest, though it is growing colder, I am used to it somewhat and I think I’ll be able to stick it out through the winter.

And I have added further restrictions to my self-imposed experimental wintertime lifestyle: I unplug nearly everything before going to bed or when going out.  I limit my use of paper towels;  if it can be done with a dishcloth, I use that instead.  I take hot showers less often (2-3 times a week instead of once a day) and set my washer on cold water.  No more using the dishwasher.  I’m selling my movies, books, cds on amazon and e-bay in favor of going to the library. (My precious books are the hardest things with which to part).  I get 10 minutes of space heater time during which I get dressed in front of it.

I’ve even caught some media attention from doing this, while trying to get press for Modest Needs.  Once they find out I’m living like this, that becomes the big story – which is fine with me.  At least I get them to mention Modest Needs as an organization helping people stay self-sufficient.  If my “strange & kooky” lifestyle helps that along — by selling papers or getting people to watch TV, I care not.  It all feels quite normal to me, this austere lifestyle I’ve chosen.  It’s not for nothing that Laura Ingalls Wilder & Dick Proenneke are my heroes.  Anyway I should be in the January issue of 518 magazine and also the Bethlehem Spotlight newspaper, thus far.

Call my crazy.  I don’t mind.  This kind of crazy doesn’t hurt anyone and helps me prioritize, to stay mindful of what really matters.

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My precious boy and me, with grandma watching o’er in the background.  (I’d include more pictures of Andy but he doesn’t like it).

Over and out for now, peeps.  Time to work. And on Friday, courtesy of Tim, I am flying out to Indiana to see him and the Quarryland Men’s Chorus perform an off-book (memorized) intense holiday concert.  My Tim has a solo and one of the best voices in the choir.

How proud am I?

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“They love each other…”

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