Posts Tagged ‘Hudson River’

Something woke me up early Friday morning.   I don’t know why, but I sat at my computer at 6am and read the news on Yahoo.  One person, standing in the front of a movie theater and opening fire.  I actually got chills.  It struck me harder than any other school shooting or killing rampage of late (and there have been plenty to choose from, no shortage there).  A brilliant man.  A brilliant, likely schizophrenic man who decided to do this unimaginable, horrible thing.

As I read the news I realized I’d been holding my breath and I thought Mark and I were just in a theater in Denver to see Guster with the orchestra and when I let that breath out I wept like my heart was broken.  I don’t want to live in a world where things like this happenI want off this planet.

But when I got to work, P put me straight with the perspective I needed, God bless her.

“How many people gave money to the bullied bus lady you told me about?”  she asked me.  I understood what she meant.  The good outweighs the bad – and by a lot.  It does it does it does.  She kept my mind from spinning off into a dark place.

See how much kindness phoenixed from the ashes of the bullying.  See how much good there is.  See that.

It has been a better day today, though I have to consciously embrace the belief that the Universe knows what It’s doing and I have to hang around and do what good I can for as long as I can keep it together, for my son, for his school, for kids with autism, for lots of reasons.

Jonah was a joy today!  It was a lovely day of sunshine and everyone had fun.  Of course, as soon as lunch and bath were done, Jonah wanted to go to the river.  On the way he pulled apart the sensory toy I’d just given him…one of those rubbery, squishy, nubby things.  This one was a caterpillar, but Jonah called it octopus.  He named the colors of each segment correctly, then yanked the pieces apart, turned them inside out, and tossed them around the car gleefully.

Down at the dock by the river, there was a washed-up, rather large dead fish, partially eaten away.  Jonah wanted to investigate and we quickly ushered him away from it.

You can see the big dead thing in the lower right hand corner of this picture.  Just after I snapped this, he pointed to it and announced, “broken fish.”

Yeah, you could say that. 

I love my Boo’s nomenclature.

He wanted to sunbathe on the dock ramp.

See how his feet are all turned in?  That’s his mama all the way.

YAY!  Water boy swims again.

Tonight my dear friend R is coming from Japan; I’ll pick him up in a few hours  at the train station when he gets in.  I’m fixing up a room for him, and he bought a guitar to use and have here in the US (he’ll be here for a month) before he goes back to Japan, where he teaches English.  It was delivered yesterday, and I can’t wait until he feels rested enough to play some.  I always beg him to play New Speedway Boogie, and though I have it on tape, nothing beats a live performance.

“One way or another, this darkness got to give…”

~ New Speedway Boogie;  The Grateful Dead

P.S.  I am on Rosetta Stone learning my Spanish for at least 1/2-1 hour a day now.  It’s really hard; they push you right along.  I keep repeating lessons.  I’m determined though, now.

Hablan a español o morir en el intento.  (Yes, I had to look that up.  I’m not that far along yet.)

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“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.”

~ Joseph Campbell

Me & Boo


by Guster

A gaping wound tells the story of it all
A man lost only to find
What was left of his mind
With no hope of a scar at all
You say, “Go slow”
But something’s right behind me
I can run away for only so long
It will not stop
I will come down
Oh no
Let me find my way
I’ll take you to the edge
Go across that window
And I’ll carry you there
Oh when nothing goes right
Oh when days don’t come tonight
Oh when all I see is the error of my own enemy
A man alone and cut and torn for it
His whole life friend after friend
They’re all a flash in the pan
With no hope of rejoice at all
Let me find my way
(Don’t be scared of what you might be thinking)
I’ll take you to the edge
Go across that window
And I’ll carry you….

I love how you can see his reflection in the car window here

What a beautiful weekend this is.  What a happy boy was Boo yesterday.  He is the dawn after my darkest.   Jonah is such a joy…clever and curious…a mischievous boy with a sometimes silly, sometimes subtle, sense of humor.

And this time when we visited the river/train he really wanted to dip his feet in the water.    (The whole thing was my fault because I took off my sandals and dipped my feet in, and then he wanted to also, so we both did).

We splashed around together and giggled and got pretty wet – the kind of wet you don”t worry that much about because it’s sunny and warm enough to dry you pretty quickly.

Jonah, splashing around with Knockout Ned

Captain Jonah surveying the land

for Boo there’s nothing better than water

A patriotic Jonah sports a shirt from “Pa”

Jonah, watching them take a boat out of the water near the dock where he usually sits

After my mom and I left, Jonah stayed with his dad and they likely played some more, hit some of Jonah’s favorite hot-spots.   Again today Andy went to pick up Boo, bring him back to his apartment, give him lunch, a bath,  and spend time with him.

Maybe he will be able to take him overnight some day.  It is enough to have small steps.  It is enough.  Seeds, sprouting slowly, but sprouting nonetheless.

Jonah meditates under his daddy’s careful watch

Today I gardened and gardened and gardened.  I found all the little pots I could and filled them with soil and impatiens, and I dug in the earth and planted some.  Things are about as pretty as they’ve ever been in both my front and back yards.  I weeded as much as I could, and M mowed the front and back, and then we were hot and tired, so we came in and I decided to sit in front of my fan and blog.

My lovely flowers…the key to flowers is perennials, I think.  More perennials.  I am so not a gardener, but when I garden I feel joy.  I don’t use gloves…I need to feel the soil and let the earth move through my fingers.  (You get very, very under-the-fingernails dirty and usually a whole lot of scratches this way, but still it is the only way I can do it).

I’m going outside to take pictures of the friendly flowers and prickly plants and prickly flowers and friendly plants I played with today.

somehow the focus is on that bud off to the right…

I think Emily was correct:

“Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all.” ~ Emily Dickinson

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