Something woke me up early Friday morning. I don’t know why, but I sat at my computer at 6am and read the news on Yahoo. One person, standing in the front of a movie theater and opening fire. I actually got chills. It struck me harder than any other school shooting or killing rampage of late (and there have been plenty to choose from, no shortage there). A brilliant man. A brilliant, likely schizophrenic man who decided to do this unimaginable, horrible thing.
As I read the news I realized I’d been holding my breath and I thought Mark and I were just in a theater in Denver to see Guster with the orchestra and when I let that breath out I wept like my heart was broken. I don’t want to live in a world where things like this happen. I want off this planet.
But when I got to work, P put me straight with the perspective I needed, God bless her.
“How many people gave money to the bullied bus lady you told me about?” she asked me. I understood what she meant. The good outweighs the bad – and by a lot. It does it does it does. She kept my mind from spinning off into a dark place.
See how much kindness phoenixed from the ashes of the bullying. See how much good there is. See that.
It has been a better day today, though I have to consciously embrace the belief that the Universe knows what It’s doing and I have to hang around and do what good I can for as long as I can keep it together, for my son, for his school, for kids with autism, for lots of reasons.
Jonah was a joy today! It was a lovely day of sunshine and everyone had fun. Of course, as soon as lunch and bath were done, Jonah wanted to go to the river. On the way he pulled apart the sensory toy I’d just given him…one of those rubbery, squishy, nubby things. This one was a caterpillar, but Jonah called it octopus. He named the colors of each segment correctly, then yanked the pieces apart, turned them inside out, and tossed them around the car gleefully.
Down at the dock by the river, there was a washed-up, rather large dead fish, partially eaten away. Jonah wanted to investigate and we quickly ushered him away from it.
You can see the big dead thing in the lower right hand corner of this picture. Just after I snapped this, he pointed to it and announced, “broken fish.”
Yeah, you could say that.
I love my Boo’s nomenclature.
He wanted to sunbathe on the dock ramp.
See how his feet are all turned in? That’s his mama all the way.
YAY! Water boy swims again.
Tonight my dear friend R is coming from Japan; I’ll pick him up in a few hours at the train station when he gets in. I’m fixing up a room for him, and he bought a guitar to use and have here in the US (he’ll be here for a month) before he goes back to Japan, where he teaches English. It was delivered yesterday, and I can’t wait until he feels rested enough to play some. I always beg him to play New Speedway Boogie, and though I have it on tape, nothing beats a live performance.
“One way or another, this darkness got to give…”
~ New Speedway Boogie; The Grateful Dead
P.S. I am on Rosetta Stone learning my Spanish for at least 1/2-1 hour a day now. It’s really hard; they push you right along. I keep repeating lessons. I’m determined though, now.
Hablan a español o morir en el intento. (Yes, I had to look that up. I’m not that far along yet.)
The Never Normal 
I’m so glad that Jonah had such a good Saturday and that, because he did, you did, too. And I’m sorry for your heartbreak over the tragic deaths and all the injuries in Colorado. Take some solace in knowing that you have so much company in the Colorado heartbreak. Like every sane soul in this country and in every other country which receives international news. Somewhere there is a reason behind this seemingly senseless tragedy. Damned if I know what it is, but my belief that a reason exists is how I keep my sanity. My love to you and Jonah and Andy.
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I love your words today! “…consciously embrace the belief that the Universe knows what It’s doing…” Yes, yes, that describes it perfectly! I have been looking for the words to tell my village what it’s like each day– how sometimes I need the right “reset” button or something to change in the way I take that leap of faith & look at the world. Thank you for putting together those words. I’m grateful for you, my long-lost sister 🙂
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I think that was ‘I will learn Spanish or die trying?’ I’ve never taken Spanish, but I used to live in Southern California. That, and I have a ‘thing’ for linguistics. They’ve always come easily, but (and I know this sounds very strange) only if people mean what they say. For example, my son was a freshman last year in Spanish I. Could not understand a SINGLE thing he said, yet I could converse with his teacher. My eldest and I have always spoken a mixture of German, Spanish, and English with a little Welsh and Japanese thrown in. Helpful when we need a
‘private’ conversation! The Japanese Rosetta Stone program also throws you in at the deep end of the pool, we lived there for a while for my husband’s job
Stone throws you in at the deep end also; we lived there fir a while
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THIS is an example of why I rarely post, if I need to correct something or ‘just because’ the words I type in just go wherever the hell they want to. Especially if it’s long, it will only let me see the first few lines & not let me finish, so I usually end up deleting the entire thing. But I always wish you well, even when I feel like smashing my phone!
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