This post is in response to a comment I received on yesterday’s post, and in response to all the silent lurkers asking the same question:
If Jonah is so much better, why not bring him home?
First of all, Jonah does not live in an institution. He lives in a house with 7 other kids and round the clock caregivers who love him. He has a regular schedule & routine. He goes to school on campus with wonderful teachers who nurture and educate him in a way that no one else could. These people live and breathe autism. Boo would never, ever have come as far as he has without being at the Anderson Center for Autism for the past three years.
Anderson also has pre-vocational and independence training, with mock apartments and mock work situations depending on each child’s ability. The children learn to make beds, do laundry, help cook, etc. The caregivers take Jonah out in the community and teach him how to behave appropriately in the grocery store, at the movies, bowling, etc. They have a huge pool on campus and Boo loves to swim.
Jonah is not “fixed.” They have not cured him of autism. I called it a “mini” major milestone for a damn good reason.
In fact, just last night Andy called and told me he’d taken him all day (which he does often, whenever he can, because Andy moved just 5 minutes away just to be close to his son)… and that Jonah was “squirrely” — he’d had an aggression just that morning because another kid came in his room and Jonah didn’t want him there.
Jonah ended up attacking a caregiver and pulling some of her hair out. Now, that’s not a “two-person take-down” – the stuff I’ve been speaking of that has been mitigated to once a month or so — but it is aggression and he still needs to work on that.
I am still afraid to be alone with my son, Andy suggested I add once he read this. I don’t like to type it but it is true. Jonah cycles through his behaviors (what I’ve called the pendulum) and at any time he could really hurt someone during an aggression.
Andy also suggested I not answer flamers, so I took a lot of other stuff out.
‘Nuff said.
The Never Normal 
Nothing more to add here, except my complete support of you. Amen.
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I think the last sentence is all the justification you need. Those who love you support you. Haters gonna hate, yo.
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Amy, what a lucid post explaining why your son deserves to continue receiving the education that The Anderson School has given him for three years! Not that you need to explain why you and Andy make educational decisions for Jonah to your blog readers, including internet trolls like “Sandra Dee.” This troll and her fellow cyber bullies are all sadists and cowards. They love inflicting pain on others, especially complete strangers they find while trolling blog posts. And they are too cowardly to use their own names, hence this troll’s moniker of a 1960s movie star. Like you, I feel sorry for “Sandra Dee” and her fellow cyber bullies. They are pitiful people whose psychological disorders might be alleviated with the help of a good therapist. I sincerely hope that “Sandra” seeks the help she so obviously needs.
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Beautiful post, Amy. But remember, those who know something of your journey would never ask you such a question. You never need to explain yourself to heartless trolls. Because of your basic sense of courtesy, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of responding to an ugly message that was actually intended to cause you distress and even worse, to goad you into writing a response. We all feel the urge to respond to such posts with an attempt at reason and explanation. But the Sandra Dees of the cyber world are not looking for logic or wisdom. They are out to cause pain.
“Sandra,” you are a vicious idiot. Leave Amy alone.
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It amazes me that people feel the need to voice their judgement. Everyone lives their own lives and makes their own decisions. Be supportive or keep it to yourself. People really need to learn to mind their own goddamn business. I hate trolls.
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Agreed. How dare they? Walk a mile in my shoes, people. Parents!!!!
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Amy, don’t let busybody trolls dictate anything you do. Because of people like them, I can’t take my beautiful 5-year-old daughter with autism anywhere. A Mom whose blog I was following pulled it off the internet because of a troll. This Mom’s kid has always lived in a hospital due to being medically fragile and connected to tubes to breathe, etc. A troll kept saying, “So and so’s kid has the same syndrome and lives at home,” completely disregarding the severity of this kid’s condition. So now, I don’t know how that precious girl is doing, growing, celebrating the holidays, etc. All because of one stupid troll among an army of loving supporters.
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You are wise, decent, and sensible. Fuck the doubters.
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I never comment but seriously, just ignore the trolls. You’re not forcing them to read your story. I would never presume to know what you should do for your family. Obviously you adore your son and desperately want what is best for him and adore, agonize, sacrifice for him, and worry about him. That makes you a fantastic mother.
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