~ The Beatles
I feel stronger right now than I have in weeks. Months. Maybe even years. In this ‘hour of darkness’ I am getting things done for myself and for my son, and I am standing upright, and I find I am capable. Reverting to my Catholic upbringing, I pray to Mary:
Help me, Mary. You had a difficult son too. You understand. Help me please. I feel she has. (I always did like Mary). Now I know a humility that has given me an unexpected strength, if that’s not too much of a paradox.
I visited Andy in the hospital today and it was good. There was no poison or animosity – only sorrow, and shared pain, and real love. We will always love one another. There is much yet to get through but I can do this thing. I can do this.
Jonah did very well yesterday at after school program, so I took him to see the train and we saw one right away, which he (of course) loved.
He behaved at home last evening too, and he was a good little boy this morning.
He even woke up laughing.
Hey mama! Hey mama! he called — and echoing his laughter, I went to him and covered him in kisses.
The Never Normal 