The Never Normal

I had the pleasure of attending Boo’s senior trip with him a few weeks ago at Camp Pontiac, this amazing summer camp that donated the space & resources (including lunch and staff) to Anderson for the day.

Here we are in the gym, which was full of trampolines, mats, and other fun equipment aplenty. We had just jumped around a little together and were taking a break in this photo.

It was the most time I’d spent with my son in a very long time, and he did so well! He was happy and interested. I took the day off from work and met him there – for safety’s sake, Briana drove him separately in the Anderson van, instead of on the chartered bus the other kids took. Each senior had a special tye-dye t-shirt with their name on the back, and there were scheduled activities (cookie decorating/ painting) as well as the ability to ditch those and walk around the huge campus. Jonah did a little bit of everything.

Here we are in the painting cabin. They had flower pots or canvases, and Boo chose a canvas – then proceeded to mostly watch me do the painting.

After that we walked up one path and down another, past cabin after cabin, by two lovely pools, and a little stream that ran through the whole place. At 12:30 they served delicious lunch – there were burgers and chicken and salads and dessert. We ate together at a picnic table and then my time was up and I drove back to my mom’s, where it has been 5 months and counting since she fell and I moved in. I immediately sent a thank you card to Camp Pontiac and am so grateful for this special day with my son.

I am moving everything non-boo related into a blog called The Other One that I’m going to keep in my portfolio at writing.com. I’ll only say here that my mother and I are (mostly) getting along better than we were, and that last week I left an olive-branch phone message for my father, but he never called me back. I’m kind of a wreck, to be honest, and have resorted to taking klonopin a few times in the past week, lest I harden up into a steel frame of a middle aged woman who can no longer move at all. My shoulders, neck, head, stomach, muscles….all are tightened and taut and hurting. I’m upset that I’m this upset, which is, well, upsetting. I’m reading The Body Keeps the Score and am beginning to understand how different kinds of trauma manifests in our physical bodies. It’s a very interesting read, though I can only listen in small doses, switching over to lighter fare to keep my focus balanced.

I have Friday off for Jonah’s prom and will be back with more photos and hopefully an awesome anecdote or two. The week after that is his graduation, and my bio relatives from Arizona are visiting too.

As Guster says, let’s face forward, move slow, forge ahead. Speaking of Guster, they are coming to Tanglewood on my birthday! Plus they came to Tulipfest here in Albany for free, so you bet I was there. A Guster show is always full of joy – the whole crowd singing along during Terrified: Open up your heart! Everybody’s got it hard; we’re built, then fall apart. We’re all terrified. Indeed we are. Indeed I am.

Onword ho…