“One more itch,
you son of a bitch
been a waste of my time
always
Now you’re half awake
you bend till you break
you make the same mistakes
always…”
– Happier, by Guster
One day, I will live in a little log house on 30 acres of woods in Chatham, NY. There will be a stream, and a hill, and trees everywhere you look. I will befriend birds, squirrels, rabbits…all manner of wildlife. I’ll spend my days making trails, stacking rocks, and creating tiny homes for elves and faeries. I’ll have a big pool or pond just for Boo; we’ll dance to Guster and play in the leaves. Hell, I’ll grow gardens of veggies just to feed the deer; they’ll be the happiest critters in Columbia County.
Y’all can keep this damned divided country full of hate. Demonize the Other all you like. I’ll be on my own little parcel of peace, all done trying to be good enough, all done trying to make a difference. All done. Quiet. Calm. Still.
One can fantasize.
The good news is Jonah has been doing well. He’s got 3 upcoming events and I’m looking forward to attending them – a senior class trip, prom, and graduation. Briana is going to be at all 3, and she’s helping me coordinate some cool clothes Jonah will wear for the occasions. I’ll be sure to take lots of pics to share! I just saw Boo this past Sunday…it was a rainy day and I was worried I’d only get to be with him for a short while, so I brought some DVDs to coax him into hanging out a while after we ate lunch at the Visitor’s Center. As if through divine intervention, though, the rain stopped long enough for us to take our campus walk, hand in hand as usual, playlist on full volume. We adore our walks. Jonah truly loves his mama unconditionally, and I love him unconditionally as well. We don’t have to say anything to one another to know it. It’s a singular bond.
I interrupt this post to tell you I’m about to ramble, complain, and bitch, blah blah blah – so if you want to skip the rest, go right ahead. I promise the next post will have stories and photos of Boo.
I’ve moved the rest of this post to my new blog at writing.com – here is the link if you want to read on, and more, about things not necessarily Boo-related.
https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2302924-The-Other-One
The Never Normal 
I love you, Amy. Absolutely and unconditionally. I bless the circumstances under which we met. I am looking forward to our time together on May 19. ❤
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Thank you Channah! I love you unconditionally as well. Can’t wait to see you ❤
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You really carry heavy burdens.
I have always had plenty of ostrich in me, sticking my head in the sand unless or until needed action becomes undeniable.
I stuck my mom in an assisted living place. She had a private room and furnishings from home. I tried to imagine myself in her circumstance, and I thought the degree of privacy would be acceptable. Note that she was no longer able to express much of her own desires. I visited twice a week. I had to make myself go, but she was always pleasant.
No one knows how best to proceed in these situations.
Sadly, your parents sound a bit nuts.
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Thanks for sharing that, skinster. My parents are indeed of the nut variety!
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I am thinking of you, Amy. I hope things get much much better soon. Take care.
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Thanks Mel. So kind of you to say so.
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I was thinking about the fantasy portion of your entry, which sounds nice to me.
I want to buy a chopper, travel across the southwest to the Mardi Gras, take LSD and carouse with prostitutes, then get blown away by rednecks. Blaze of glory!
(I have loose screws.)
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Hi Amy,
I’ve been reading your posts for years – I live half a world away, we don’t know each other, but the part of your post on caregiving hit SUCH a nerve because I feel you SO hard. I’ve been there, and it’s awful to be doing everything you can possibly handle and sometimes it feels like all you get is criticism in return from your loved one . . . and you know damn well other family and friends know your situation and can somehow just turn a blind eye and still live with themselves. I have no answers or advice, but for whatever it’s worth I’m thinking of you.
Margie
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Thank you so much Margie. Sometimes it helps just to know you’re not alone. ❤
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I think you really need some help like home care attendant. You have to push it, even though it could get you mom angry. You have right to tell your relative you need a lot of help and sometimes, your mom doesn’t tell the truth regarding on this. You are in particularly difficult situation. You have your son to take care of. Don’t back off. I hope you have a lot of fun when you go away with your friends. You deserve this.
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Thank you for your kind comment!
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