The Never Normal

I celebrated my Mother’s Day yesterday with my mom and Jonah and Jonah’s dad Andy.  We didn’t do anything particularly special, except Jonah (read Andy) got me a lovely basket with candles and soap and lollipops in it.

Jonah (read my mother) also got me a gift card to TGIFriday’s, and a yummy box of chocolates.  And Jonah (read M) got me a beautiful jewelry armoire, and Jonah (my little “adopted daughter J” from four Winds) sent me a dozen roses!

My dad sent me a simple, beautiful card that touched my heart.  Friends are texting me, e-mailing me:  Happy Mother’s Day!

Jonah sure is generous, through the hearts of so many who wanted to give him the voice to tell me he loves me, on this first Mother’s Day without him.  Thank you, little Boo and all who speak on your behalf.  I love you so.  I do not want to tell you how I cried bitterly into my pillow this morning, feeling sorry for myself because my only child is far away from me.  So I will tell you instead how grateful I am to have my beautiful boo, my sweet precious boy.  I will tell you it is not even noon and I have wiped my tears and planted seeds in my garden — morning glory seeds to climb and wrap themselves around things.  Soon I will go outside and play more in the earth and dirt, turning over soil and, without getting all weird about it, allow the sun and earth to mother me.

Yesterday was also a beautiful day for Boo to enjoy – we did all Jonah’s favorite things & haunted all his familiar spots:

Sipping on some strawberry milk…in the tub

Swinging high on his favorite swing. Luckily, no one else has ever been on it when we’ve gone to the park!  There’d be trouble…

Looking longingly at the Hudson River. He’d get naked, jump in, and swim around for a long while if we let him…it was 84 degrees, too…

More longing for the water…

He finally leaned so far off the dock that he could swish his hands in the water…

…but daddy was right there. I think if they fell in Jonah would be rescuing Andy!

…and of course among the pansies Valiant Valerie whispers “Happy Mother’s Day!” to me, her adopted mommy…and to my own mom – to all mothers and not-mothers everywhere…to those who wish they could be mothers, and to mothers who have lost children…to those who have chosen not to have children, and to those who have made adoption plans for children they could not care for….for all the mothers crying today, for all the mothers laughing today…for all the children and adults who have lost their own mothers…

Have a happy, blessed day anyway, everyone.