The Never Normal

we just got back from cape cod.  i  found a good deal at a hotel in south yarmouth – $189/3 nights, plus the place had a pool and was 300yds from the beach.

it was good….well, mostly, except for an episode i had on friday evening when we went to a “family restaurant” and the order-taker was mean to me and jonah was running wild all over the place as tears streamed down my face and i choked down my burger and andy chased our kid.  lots of people shaking their heads at us and our “unruly, undisciplined brat.”   they didn’t have to say it.  i felt it through the curtain of ridiculous spineless geeky little-girl tears.

so i decided i am going to start signing to jonah when i talk to him in public.  it can’t hurt him – he’s learning it anyway at home and in school – and at the very least people will think he’s deaf and maybe have a shred of compassion.

i tried it on the beach the next day.   i was signing “ocean” and “water” to him as he established his pattern-of-the-moment:

run, shrieking & laughing, to the edge of the water, and plunge in with glee.   splash around.

then, run determinedly back to the edge of the beach and climb the stairs to the parking lot.

cock head at an angle to frame something — something beyond my brain — in just the right way, then descend stairs carefully, holding my hand. at the bottom, let go and run, shrieking & laughing, to the edge of the water, and plunge in with glee. splash around.

then, run determinedly back to the edge of the beach and climb the stairs to the parking lot.

cock head at an angle to frame something — something beyond my brain — in just the right way, then descend stairs carefully, holding my hand. at the bottom, let go and run, shrieking & laughing, to the edge of the water, and plunge in with glee. splash around.

then, run determinedly back to the edge of the beach and climb the stairs to the parking lot.

cock head at an angle to frame something — something beyond my brain — in just the right way, then descend stairs carefully, holding my hand. at the bottom, let go and run, shrieking & laughing, to the edge of the water, and plunge in with glee. splash around.

then, run determinedly back to the edge of the beach and climb the stairs to the parking lot.

cock head at an angle to frame something — something beyond my brain — in just the right way, then descend stairs carefully, holding my hand. at the bottom, let go and run, shrieking & laughing, to the edge of the water, and plunge in with glee. splash around.

then, run determinedly back to the edge of the beach and climb the stairs to the parking lot.

cock head at an angle to frame something — something beyond my brain — in just the right way, then descend stairs carefully, holding my hand. run, shrieking & laughing, to the edge of the water, and plunge in with glee. splash around.

then, run determinedly back to the edge of the beach and climb the stairs to the parking lot.

cock head at an angle to frame something — something beyond my brain — in just the right way, then descend stairs carefully, holding my hand. at the bottom, let go and ….

then andy takes over for a bit.

you get the idea, yes?

this is vacation with a two year old.

at any rate, the point is that the signing worked — people still looked at us, but with more curiosity and less judgement….even when jonah invaded others’ personal space, as he is wont to do. he doesn’t have much of a concept of “mine” and “yours,” i don’t think.

and jonah loved the hotel pool. andy took him in the water and played little games with him. jonah signed for “more” spontaneously and also is starting to say it pretty consistently. it’s really the first word he has said more than once or twice. He says it in this high pitched cutie way. It sounds like “moe!”

we didn’t try to go out to eat any”moe”, either. we ordered food and picked it up and ate in our room, which worked out much better and was “moe” comfortable for all of us!

we went on a couple really nice walks and found a couple cool playgrounds, too. my only regret is that we didn’t go to provincetown this year or take a whale watch cruise. not like i haven’t done both of those things a dozen times each or so, but i love provincetown and i adore whale watches. it’s not for nothing i named my son jonah!

but there again, it’s being trapped for 4 hours just chasing jonah around, and he’d probably just want to go up and down the stairs to the upper deck of the boat – that’s what he did last year – and, to be fair, andy is the one who ends up doing most of the work so i can see the whales. so we decided not to do it this year.

it’s at times like vacation that i have to guard against wishing i had a “normal” kid. then we could play minitaure golf, maybe, and get an ice cream at the ice cream stand. who knows what myriad of possibilities would be opened up for us?

the other thing is, i don’t really have any conception of what “normal” kids his age can do until i see jonah up juxtaposed among them. at the playground there was a 12-month-old girl (her mom told me) who was saying “no” very clearly, and i felt shocked almost, like “oh my god, that little tiny baby just spoke!”