Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Boo was so very sweet and funny today.  His only real transgressions were screeching in my face and trying to cop a feel.  There is a code language he sometimes half-sings to himself as he moves in for the squeeze, some syllabic elven tongue.   Other times it’s just “boobie.”  You’d think I nursed the kid until he was 6. It’s hard to stress about having to remind him, even over and over, hands to yourself, when he could instead be trying to pull my hair out or smearing shit on my mom in the backseat.   You pick your battles.

I brought him new soft rugs, a cuddle animal-pillow, a sensory ball, and some playdoh and a beanbag toss game for his peeps.  The kids are back in the original house, which is now big and bright and new.  Jonah has his own room (not out of some kind of preferential treatment or luck; he’d attack a room-mate) overlooking the playground and the pool.  At the playground, any playground, Jonah must have the first swing.  Sometimes it is the first swing on the left and sometimes it is the first swing on the right, but he has to have that first swing.  We have been exceedingly lucky in finding parks with empty swings, or with kids who see him coming and get up & away before his arrival.

What a great visit today.  Boo was happy, laughing and going through his litany of requests – things he knows by now he’s bound to get but likes the sounds lilting off his tongue anyway:  celwee?  blue cheese? riv-ah?  bath?

I will see him again soon, on Monday morning at 6am when he is driven up for his laser eye surgery.  It does not, the surgeon tells me, require “opening his eye,” which I guess is a good thing.  Still and all they are going to put him under and I hate that part, gowning up and keeping him calm while they put the mask over his face.  Not that I’d ever not do it.

This will be the third eye surgery.  There’s something creepy about watching your child go the kind of limp that isn’t sleep.  Of course I am grateful for this surgeon and his skill, for all the people working together to help Jonah.  I trust he will be fine.  I just don’t want him to have to go through it.


…playing it cool – feeling the breeze, ducking & rocking to the music he’s requested, playing with grandma, who’s just a little reticent (can’t blame her), then feeling the breeze and playing it cool once again.

I hope tomorrow stretches out long and lazy.  I need one long and lazy day.

Read Full Post »

I should call Jonah’s behavioral therapist and go over some plan for what to do about all his aggression lately…

I thought it just yesterday at work when glancing at a picture of my smiling two-year-old boo made me remember what it was like when I had a child who had only autism, hold the violence.

But she called me first.  When my cell phone rang last night around 7pm I knew it was Jonah’s school from the area code.  I heard her voice, softly accented and smart, kind and comforting.  I like her very much; I think she truly cares about the kids and works hard.

She told me she wanted to talk about Jonah’s behaviors and I said yes, thank you but very little else as I broke down suddenly and quickly, and silently thank God, everything in me held tight, squatting crouched at the top of the basement steps.  Tears came in quiet, steady little streams down my face as she spoke, making two distinct darkened wet spots on the red carpeted landing…I stared at them, teeth clenched…holding my breath…my silence broken only by the occasional word of affirmation.  Right.  That sounds good.  Thank you.

“Jonah’s been here more than a year now and he is so much better at working with others and in groups than when he first came,” she started.  I don’t have to be a psych major to know this tactic:  present a positive first, then a negative, then another positive.  It’s a good plan but she knows I know what’s coming.

I’m unsure what snapped something inside me and made me cry that way, but something did, and when she talked about how Jonah’s behaviors have continued, how some have gotten worse or more intense, I wanted to scream.  They think perhaps it is the medicine affecting him a bit, and she thinks also he is so smart, my Boo, that he seeks attention to the point of aggressing or poop-smearing or whatever just to see what happens – to watch who does what – to be the center of attention.

I think she’s right.  He’s an only child and was very used to being so.  Maybe he’s mad about sharing so much with so many other kids.  Not material things, not tangible things, maybe…he wants games and fun and snuggles and chases and it’s all got to be about him…maybe.

We don’t know they’re not sure …she is going to try a positive reinforcer squeeze toy or something he can hold tight and squish – a stress ball or stuffed animal or something – a comfort object, as they would say in The Giver.  I wonder too if a weighted vest would help.  Sometimes I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin, abandon body altogether, this cage of bones, and fly away.  Maybe Jonah feels it too (although he probably wants to grow gills and swim away).

I want to help him.  I thought he would get better there.  I didn’t realize the placement was necessary but also, quite likely, permanent.  The only way I could do it at the time was to leave that part out and not think about whether or not it was a place where he can eventually come back home.  All I  knew was I was losing him and I needed quite desperately to lose him and it all felt like crawling through fire.

It feels like crawling through fire to consider him being away from me like this indefinitely, aggressing, battling blindness and arthritis and whatever the fuck else we don’t even know about.

It’s all so different from anything I imagined, this path.  God hold me steady on it.

Read Full Post »

Violet Beauregarde: What is this, a freak out?

~ Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (Film, 1971)

Today is what I call Willie Wonka Day.  In the original film Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, on each of the five golden tickets is the instruction to arrive at the wondrous chocolate factory on October first.  And hence today I dream of fizzy lifting drinks and meal-in-a-gumpiece.

Really the chocolate factory is an apt, if gross, metaphor for what’s been going on with Jonah lately.  When Andy picked him up on Sunday,  Jonah almost immediately became very angry.  Because he was strapped in his special harness seat, he probably couldn’t reach Andy to kick or hit, so he went into a rage.  And left with no effective offense after having been so pissed off at some unperceived insult, he “went to the chocolate factory,” shitting on purpose and smearing it on himself and Andy’s car.  There wasn’t much option but to U-Turn and bring Jonah back, so there went the Sunday visit.  And hours to clean up poop for Andy, the stink still likely there to remind him of the fun.  I guess Jonah actually had a pretty decent day at his house, once they cleaned him up.  I didn’t even hear of it until Andy’s daily evening call to me.

Andy, on the other hand…who knows?  When he is left alone with the aftermath of one of Jonah’s episodes/managements/flip-outs/whatever you want to call them…when he is all by himself in his Rhinebeck apartment quiet, what kind of pain is that?  I don’t know anymore and God help me I can’t know anymore.  I just can’t.

All last week Andy called to tell me tales of Jonah smearing his shit, hitting people, trying to bite, pulling at hair.  Why now, boo?  What is it?  WHAT IS IT?

They’ve got him on ear drops right now for an infection but this started before that.  Then again when you live this life there really is no real order to things.   Things happen for no reason, behavioral charts arrowing up and down with little correspondence to anything at all.

I want to also say I’m not a blogger who comments on comments.  Or very rarely I do.  I don’t know why I don’t.  I just don’t want to respond to your responses….I like to let it be. *  Please don’t mind that I don’t answer.  I like to listen to you, not yak back.  I love all the peeps who come here to read along watch listen care and help me feel like I’m not alone and you’re not alone.  Because we’re not.

thumb-suckers unite

We’re not alone in the hurt and we’re not alone in the hope.

* that’s for you, kp

meine herrschaften, schenken sie mir ihre aufmerksamkeit

(someone took it upon themselves to not only translate for you, dear reader, but also to disseminate the scene)

Read Full Post »

I was showing M’s daughter J the picture from the last post, of Jonah dining at his salad bath bar.

“That’s kind of gross, right?” she asked in her raspy 8-year-old way.  I laughed and said Jonah sure was silly.

All I could think of was that Seinfeld episode where Kramer decides he doesn’t ever want to get out of the shower again.  “This is the place to be!”  he rejoices, calling friends and making dinner from the comfort of his steaming stall.  I’m in the 1% of people who never saw Seinfeld the first time around, so once in a while I actually catch an episode I’ve never seen.

And so Jonah too loves his warm water, for bathing, eating, or just hanging around.  He can brush his own teeth but Andy or I give him a good brushing every once in a while.  He’s pretty good about it:

I didn’t mind the rain and chill this weekend.  Jonah wasn’t great yesterday and he grabbed at me a few times.  I cried a little but it wasn’t because of that.  If I can’t take a hair-pulling or a glasses-grabbing by now, I’m the wuss of the century.

Once again we kept the grocery store rotation in the mix.  Jonah did really well, if you forgive him eating while shopping (we always pay for whatever it is) and the opening of the milk and drinking from it at the register.

bottoms up!

Mostly I was tired.  A week from tomorrow he’s got to go back for laser left eye surgery again.

I am tired of having no shield with which to defend my son from pain and surgery, from frustration, from his different perception.  It’s all another type of person’s world, and he is so innocent of that world.  All of it.  He is such a toddler still in so many ways, and then almost entering puberty as well.  So many changes…and so much feels impassible in spite of it.

Every so often I will be sitting on the couch, maybe, with no noise in the house — or in the car when the light turns red — and I’ll think I don’t have my boy or I can’t keep him safe — and where once the words would burn and hurt, now they lie like stones on the ground.  They are things I must walk on, over, across, to get to where things are different.

Hannaford, yo!

“We’ll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgment of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
And I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
Don’t get fooled again

Change it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fall that’s all
But the world looks just the same
And history ain’t changed
‘Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
And I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
Don’t get fooled again
No, no!

I’ll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half alive
I’ll get all my papers and smile at the sky
For I know that the hypnotized never lie

Do ya?

There’s nothing in the street
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye
And the parting on the left
Is now the parting on the right
And the beards have all grown longer overnight

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
Don’t get fooled again
No, no!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss…”

Won’t Be Fooled Again; The Who

Read Full Post »

Jonah’s a big fan of the salad bar bath.

warm water, crisp salad, & lemonade

We had a great visit with Jonah on Saturday, and I went back to eating solid food.  There isn’t much else to report, or rather I’m feeling numb and surreal today.  I’ve been afraid to do much of anything, lest the devil-ache come back.

Is it safe?

Here, as always, are photos to compensate for my word-loss.

swimming’s “closed” – so we waited for the train.     (it came)

Jonah means business when it’s time                           to go to the grocery store!

Ready to roll…

I will see Boo on Tuesday; after my early a.m. neurologist appointment, I should be right on time to meet him for his glaucoma specialist.  I think my mom wants to come to this one.  (His, not mine, of course).

I’m bone tired.   Truly.  Tired in my bones, all tight and hurt-y.

Read Full Post »

Monday and Tuesday were two weeks long.  Two months, two years, I don’t even know.  Monday morning I had the worst headache of my life accompanied by extreme light sensitivity and puking all day long.  Praying to God to help help help please help me until I couldn’t take it anymore and at 8pm M drove me to to St. Pete’s where they gave me IV liquids and morphine and some other stuff, then gave me a CAT scan and spinal tap.  Maybe when you get your first migraine at the ripe old age of 43 and it’s this bad, they are concerned there is bleeding on the brain – but that ‘s been ruled out.

We got home at 4:30am and fell into bed exhausted, where I got 4 hours of beautiful wonderful sleep before I woke and it started all over again.  M tried to take the day off to stay with me, but he had to go to work so I took the pills they’d given me the day before – the ones to stop the nausea and headaches.  Two minutes later they were gone from my stomach, along with half a cracker and sip of water I’d tried to eat with them.  BAM BAM BAM went my headache.

I called my mother and bless her she came and dropped me off at St. Pete’s.  Tears fell down my cheeks as I retched into the kidney-shaped dish they give you and waited for the blessed IV.  I’d rather go through labor again. But by the time I left the hospital this second time, I had slept a little and was actually feeling hungry, headache gone – a blessedly pain-free state.  Thank you thank you thank you.   And now I  have the name of a neurologist to call and see, so hopefully they can tell me what to do to prevent this hell again.

They instructed me to stay in a dark room for 12-24 hours and I understood completely.  Never having been a fan of light, particularly artificial light, I am happy to just be for a day, to sit in the dark, hope this is really over.   I’ve slept and woken to my dog Jack pressed against me – his concerned black-rimmed eyes meeting mine..his occasional lick to my cheek.

I once saw a TV show on Discovery, I think, about people who had such constant, debilitating migraines that they had to take oxygen tanks everywhere they went – that it was the only modicum of relief from the perpetual agony.  I remember feeling horrified.  I had no idea.  I now wonder how they don’t give up.  I have a whole new empathy for people who have ever had a migraine.

I have eaten toast and kept down coffee, and tomorrow I’ll see my regular doc and go back to work.  I need to do well at work right now, and this didn’t help matters.

And now for Boo…a rocky road lately, Andy and I call him “squirrely” when he is with us and he gets this way; it’s difficult to describe how it begins or even what it is at first – an extra hard and very “slappy” high-five, maybe, with a face that dares you to do something about it.

We don’t know when he’ll be like this – or why – the infernal why –  at school he’s had managements this week, both in class and at his house, grabbing at glasses, flipping out – impatient and angry.  Last Saturday we went to the grocery store – Andy and he and I – me walking along, proudly filming a documentary of my son negotiating his cart quite nicely.  It’s really kind of boring for most of its 5 minutes, I suppose, but he falls apart toward the end – and when Andy asks me quite patiently to turn off the camera and help him, you can see why the video abruptly stops.

It’s all okay, though.  I know we can get through this, I know we can do this.  And, as always there is such joy in my Boo.

Mama’s proud that Jonah eats salad. He’s got a tuna fish sandwich there too, and he’ll try just about anything.  That apple fell far from MY tree.

Splashing around in the Rhinebeck boat launch

…and finally pushing off to go for a swim…

Mama with Jonah on the swings, smiling at one another…

Happy Jonah signing for more ‘white duck’

Jonah and his daddy, walking toward grandma

Even at the doctor’s office, mostly he is happy

…and I, today, bathe in gratitude, of course mostly from relief-of-pain but also for all the people who have cared and helped and loved me through these two-year two days,  and for Boo’s journey, wherever it may take us — because it is always silver-lined with joy.

Thank you.

Read Full Post »

back from mecca

There is a lot to say about my vacation (to Mansfield, Missouri – home of Laura Ingalls Wilder) and also my ‘blog vacation’, which has extended beyond my return.  I can post some pictures of the trip but not of my most recent visit with Jonah, because I downloaded the vacation pictures and promptly lost the camera-to-computer cord.

I have accepted a few writing gigs, met a deadline for my monthly column in the Capital District Parent Pages, and judged entries for a “human interest story” ARC media contest.  (The acronym ARC used to stand for The Association for Retarded Citizens but we don’t say retarded anymore and I’m not sure what the acronym stands for now).  Most of the writers used the acronym without explaining it, as though the whole world understands what the ARC is and why it exists.  Several of the entries made me cringe;  one even made me cry.  It was hard to judge.  Who the hell am I?

So I met the Anderson peeps at Jonah’s eye appointment on Friday –and the doctor was really pleased.  She said the Humera is helping his right eye significantly.  Jonah was awesome-good and cooperative for every exam, my brave little boo.  (He did try to cheat by moving the plastic piece with which you’re supposed to block one eye).

Part of the reason he was able to be good is that E called me to warn that the eye doc office contacted her to tell her the appointment would be 2-3 hours long.   Evidently they planned to update his records because they’d switched from one software to another or something, and so entries would be made as we went along – from the check in to the eye test to the doctor herself checking his eyes.

I told her, “don’t worry, that’s not going to happen,” and then I called the office the next day and explained to the new (?), kind receptionist (also named Amy) how Jonah is not a kid who can wait, and unless they want him screeching, rolling around on the floor, and quite possibly attempting to aggress toward the mostly-elderly waiting room gathering, they’d better have us arrive when the doctor is ready to see us.  I was actually really calm and nice about it.  It’s for everyone’s benefit, believe me.  Amy worked her magic and told us they would come down to the parking lot and get us, so we wouldn’t have to wait.  God bless Amy.

E came with Mo instead of J, who’d gotten in a motorcycle accident and was out of work on sick leave, which I’m very upset about because I loved him and he was really very good with Boo.  Mo was cool but he’s not J.

Now I’m trying to help someone whose family is going through what we did during the months before Jonah went away to Anderson – a disabled child pulling hair, hitting, destroying things at home, pooping & smearing, and a school district with a reluctance to place him in the residential care he needs.  The mom e-mailed me today looking for advice.  I don’t know a lot, but I know a lot of people who know a lot.  I’ve said I wanted to advocate for others, and so here I go.

I leave you with some pictures from my trip.  Hopefully I find my camera cord soon (I have yet to pray to St. Anthony) so I can show the sweet pictures and video of Jonah by the river on Saturday.

I’m hugging a bust of Laura in the town square, as it were, while rocking my Laurapalooza shirt my friend K made me. HAPPY EXCITED ME.

Laura’s 10 room farmhouse, as she left it when she died in 1957 (three days after her 90th birthday).

Geek. You get the idea…

We ate at Hemingway’s Restaurant in the world’s largest Bass & Pro shops which, though I had no desire to go, was unbelievably cool.

…they had live turtles…

…and huge tanks of fish…

..the place is so hard to describe…

We went to the Dickerson Zoo and fed giraffes eye-to-eye from a tall platform

We visited The Pythian Castle and met a whippet dog named Trinity who was about to give birth. The dungeon part was creepy as hell. Lots of history in this place built in 1913…

…and we even saw Wilford Brimley at the airport. Lots of people look like Wilford Brimley but I’m positive this was really him. Truly.

Amy Ingalls Wilder, grinning wide.                  Laura Trip 2012 accomplished.

Read Full Post »

This weekend my mom and I are going down to see Jonah on Sunday instead of Saturday.  A switcheroo, so I could go to the Latin Fest today in Washington Park.

It’s still going on as I type this, but I could only last so long.  The day was lovely and Hades-hot.  I’d arrived early, and I went by myself.

I saw the Marines were there and tried the pull-up bar, which I jumped 5 times to reach, but eventually realized it wasn’t going to happen.  Look at the picture – the bar was about 10 feet high!

If only I were in secretly-super-power shape and could amaze those guys.

I did, however, win a prize for a game where they boost you up and you do a flexed arm hang, chin not touching the bar, for as long as you can, the max being 110 seconds.  I eyed that bar and watched two or three other women last anywhere between o.o seconds and 10 seconds.  When it was my turn, a lady behind the Marine booth set her camera on me.

The Marines smiled a bit smirkingly amongst themselves.  (I really am a twiggy limbed lady):

So they boost me up and I get my breathing going and I’m flexing those skinny arms and giving it all I’ve got, stretching my neck to stay above the bar, bicycling my legs in the air for distraction and whatever ounce of help it might give me.  Then I fell, not expecting the sudden give-out, and landed hard on the ground.

But now the Marines were smiling a different smile at me.  “34 seconds,” the one who was timing it said.  It felt like an hour and a half , but he had the stopwatch so we’ll go with 34 seconds.  This was impressive to them even though we all knew the only reason I could stay up there for those 34 seconds is I am a light-weighted woman and even weak-ass arms can hold up 115 pounds for 34 seconds.  But I won a Marine baseball cap and everything.

I thanked them for their service to our country before I took my hat and walked away.  The Few.  The Proud.  And Me.

Then I hung with some awesome kids, doing chalk drawings and body art:

First I drew the Puerto Rican flag.  Most of the attendees seemed to be Puerto Rican; the vendors sold a lot of Puerto Rican flags and shirts, so I had plenty of opportunity to make sure I was getting it right with the stripes and colors.  Then I couldn’t leave well enough alone so I added a sun and a tree.  That’s when all the kids came, and the real fun began.

Soon I had many friends.  I handed out juice boxes and we all worked hard.

Next it was time for body painting in the kids’ zone.

Thank God she and my next volunteer both wanted rainbows.  (Who can’t draw a rainbow?)  The girls were equally concerned with whether or not the rainbows would include the color pink.  (They did).

Then I walked around and bought some trinkets for M’s kids, and climbed a hill to hear the band and dance in the sunshine, toward the back of the crowd, all of us enjoying amazing Latin music in the big, wide field.  I danced like I was at a Grateful Dead show, because that’s really all I’ve got in my inventory.  But only for one song.  Heh.  Getting old.  Plus I was just sick two days ago.

Nearly collapsed from sweat, the heat of the music, and all the many people under a bright, hot sun, I left early-ish.  I was hungry and thirsty and had used up all my money.

Two things happened there, though, which smashed  any stereotypes I may have heard about Puerto Ricans/Latinos.  That made me feel all people are generally, in fact, good.

The first is when I slowly walked maybe 500 feet away from the dancing to sit on a bench in the shade.  After a minute I realized I’d taken my camera out of my sack and had left it in the grass where I was dancing.  I honestly thought it would be gone by the time I got back, so I wasn’t exactly running back to retrieve it.   But when I returned to my spot, there was the camera, sitting right where I’d left it – even though the crowd had thickened and anyone could have easily swiped it.

Thing number two happened when I was mucha sed (very thirsty) after dancing, and walked down the hill toward a pineapple drink stand.   The idea of their booth was to sell Pina Coladas, but I asked if I could just have a small cup of the pineapple drink without any alcohol.

Then I remembered to ask: ¿Cuánto es?  (I really didn’t need to speak Spanish much, but I did so want to practice).  The lady selling them told me $7.  “I only have $4.50 with me,” I said, automatically switching back into English, offering the money with something between pessimism and shame.  “Do you think maybe I could have half a cup?”

<-The lady in the orange shirt

She smiled and poured me an almost-full cup of yummy icy pineapple deliciousness.   I was a little afraid she’d get all nasty and dismiss me:  sorry, gringa.  Instead she smiled wide when I profusely thanked her.  “De nada,” she told me, and waved me away.  I’m going to find out who she is, though, and get her the rest of her money.

I took a few more pictures during the day – some posed (amazing balloon hat, no?)

(this guy was awesome)

…and some, more candid…

I loved her skirt

This was a landmark Amy-in-an-unfamiliar-crowd challenge, and I not only had no anxiety but I really enjoyed myself, by myself.  And tomorrow I get to see my Boo.  Sounds like a great weekend to me!  Plus, T minus 7 days until I fly to visit Laura Ingalls Wilder’s home and museum, where I will no doubt burst into intense, amazed tears and perhaps collapse on the floor.

“…Each of us is born with a box of matches inside us, but we can’t strike them all by ourselves; just as in the experiment, we need oxygen and a candle to help.  In this case, the oxygen, for example, would come from the breath of the person you love;  the candle could be any kind of food, music, caress, word, or sound that engenders the explosion, lighting one of the matches.”

~ Laura Esquivel, Like Water for Chocolate

One of my matches was lit today.  It shines even still.  I think I’ll keep it burning…

Read Full Post »

never forget

I’m so sick today.  Must have thrown up 9 or 10 times.  My head is pounding pounding pounding.  Now it is almost 6pm and it’s my first trip out of bed except to the bathroom.  Ginger ale and crackers, here I come.

Two things.

1.  It is Andy’s birthday today – happy birthday to Jonah’s wonderful daddy

2.  It is the first anniversary of the D.C. earthquake that we could feel way up here in Albany, NY.  You know, the one which caused virtually no damage whatsoever.

Read Full Post »

I am in an excited state of preparation for my Labor Day week trip to Laura Ingalls Wilder’s home & museum in Mansfield Missouri.  Before that, though, I have to write an article for the Capital District Parent Pages and judge 20 entries or so for NYSARC’s annual media awards contest; they’ve asked me to do this for several years now, and I enjoy it.

But the writing and the judging is time-consuming, and I’d rather create more nature art in the woods or something.  Something simple, like this:

At any rate I am mostly going to blog some quotes, videos, and short tales of Jonah/nature art/fun lists until I get back.  I am fine, and I am taking healthy steps to become downright awesome.  Jonah has been enjoying his 2-week break before school.  He learns well, but he does love to ask no school today? and have his words validated…

That’s right, buddy.  No school today.

And so today’s quote is from my favorite book, A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett.  Its protagonist, Sara Crewe, is arguably one of the greatest characters in literature.  Someone gifted me the book when I was 10, along with The Secret Garden, and it took me 6 years to finally pick them up and give them a chance.  They looked Victorian.  Boring.

I was never so happy to be so wrong.  I have read them and re-read them probably 40 or 50 times.  I loved her other books as well, but this one tops the list.  It even tops (I’m gritting my teeth here for going out on such a limb) The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder, which may well be my second favorite book.  Maybe I should try to make a top 10 list.  It’s as mutable as water, though, and could change tomorrow.  In fact I’ll forget all kinds of books in the very consideration of ranking them.  And most of them are children’s or young adult books.

“Perhaps there is a language which is not made of words and everything in the world understands it.”
~Sara Crewe; A Little Princess
But I’ll try anyway:
1.  A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
2.  The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder
3. The Giver by Lois Lowry
4.  Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
5. Watership Down by Richard Adams
6. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
7. The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
8.  Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel
9.  The Glass Bead Game: (Magister Ludi) by Herman Hesse
10. Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
There’s no way I can stop at ten.  So many books belong in my top ten.  Why did I start this impossible task?
11.  Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
12.  The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
13. 1984 by George Orwell
14.  Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
15. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
I have also been instructed to write ten positive things about myself.  And so, one more list:
1.  I am a giver.
2.  I can make people laugh.
3.  It is easy for me to love.
4.  I am friendly.
5.  I am kind.
6.  I care about my planet and its people.
7. I want to make a difference in the world.
8. I am a good writer.
9. I smile at strangers.
10. I am a nurturing mother.
And hey:
Thank you to everyone who commented, or treated me with an extra bit of kindness, or has reached out to me because they care.  Thank you.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »