Someone left a cutting, cruel comment on my “let there be sight” post. I approved it for all to see. You be the judge.
Your son is, what, 12?? And you’re bathing him and giving him “mamalove” kisses everywhere? Inappropriate much??! ? Beyond icky.
Interesting that you claim to love your Boo — yet institutionalized him. You see him once a week for a few hours. This is love, how, exactly? Boo learns to love and live and peacefully exist in the world by… not living with mommy or daddy??
I used to judge people too, for “institutionalizing” their children. I used to judge people for all kinds of things. And now I am judged. I suppose that is how it works.
I don’t know when I will be able to come back and write here. This coincides with a serious health issue I’m dealing with; I may go to the ER tomorrow.
Oh, how words can hurt. Hurt like fire. Even worse than the health issue, which hurts so bad I have to knock myself out with Tylenol PM every night. M told me “if you’re going to post all your personal shit out there for everybody to see then that’s what you’re going to get.”
Here are pictures to soften the blow to my body and my heart:
Goodbye for now. I can’t handle this. Maybe I can’t blog anymore if I can’t handle the haters.
Amy, I cannot comprehend what prompted “Icky McIckerson” (can that possibly be a real name???) to say the things contained in that comment. I have responded to the comment on the “let there be light” post where it originated.
My suggestion to you is that you chalk this comment up to its author’s ignorance of Jonah’s long history of escalating violence and everything you and Andy attempted before placing him in a residential school and/or to insensitivity. Those of us who know you personally or have been following your blog from its inception have absolutely no doubt about your love for your son and the depths of pain you suffered making the decision to place him in a residential school.
Ignore “Icky McIckerson” and re-read the comments of those who follow your blog regularly and who understand you, Jonah, Andy and your family’s history and circumstances.
Good luck with your physical issue. My love goes with you to the ER tomorrow.
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That’s quite ballsy for someone who doesn’t know shit about you or your situation. F them and the horse they rode in on. Opinions are like butt holes, everyone has them and most of them STINK, lol Chalk it up to just another d-bag.
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ONE hater. Please don’t go – your words help so many of us… don’t leave because of one person’s very hurtful and hateful words. Delete the comment, keep blogging, and ignore Icky.
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Really, I’d consider those ignorant and frankly, bizarre, comments to be spam. Jonah is in the best possible and most hopeful situation due to the loving and hard work of researching and visiting schools, discussing options that could keep everyone afloat, and acting in concert as a family for his well-being every day. You are an excellent mother. Period.
Now is the time to get yourself well. Those of us here online will be holding you in our hearts as you deal with these medical issues. Keep us posted. This too shall pass.
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Dear Amy,
I don’t know how I missed the hateful, hurtful comment, but I am glad I did. My feeling of love and protection for you are so ingrained in me that I’d jump through the page and grab Icky by the jugular.
Amy, go into the depths of your soul. You don’t need others to validate you….although it feels so good and, well, validating…you know your history. You know how you have fought. You know how you were in total angst when seeking something different from enduring the aggressions of your boy on a daily basis. You know now how unsure you are whether you did the right thing or not. That is why those words felt like fire. They hit a nerve just too close to your heart. Please remember the truth about you, as we all do.
Now, I’d like to take you to the hospital if you’ll let me. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’d like to support you through it. Grab it while you have the offer! 🙂
Love you, Amy.
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I’ve never commented, but I have to say don’t leave. I read your entire blog and though I’m not a mother of a child with autism, I am a mother. You did what was best for Jonah, by institutionalizing him. He’s safe, learning, and loved. Ignore the crazy haters and don’t take things to heart.
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Sometimes an extended middle finger is the most appropriate response.
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Perfect response, Pony Garfunckel. You are a person of few, but eloquent words…
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Oh Honey..don’t take that ignorant comment to heart. I’m thinking it was said to get a reaction as they apparently have nothing better to do with their time. I first found your blog by googling CDPC. We had to have my mentally ill brother “institutionalized” there on Dec 26 and I was hurting and looking for other peoples experiences with the place/doctors. I subscribed to your blog after reading your experiences. Reading about your son and how you were able to do what you had to do gave me strength to endure what I needed to do in regards to my brother. I have since read your entire blog and have an immense respect for you and your family and all you have been through. Obviously you love your son and have had to make some tough choices in his behalf. Don’t give “Icky” a moment of your time..the name adequately describes them. On a different note..hope you did in fact go to the ER. Just spent a bit of time there with a family member. Lyme disease! So, take care of the caregiver! Do what you need to do to get well..and get back to blogging..be well..
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Amy –
I don’t have a child, or anyone else in my family, with autism. I stumbled upon your blog and I read it because I love your writing. I love the way you tangle stories of the little victories in with the everyday thrumming of living. We all have lives that consist of such moments, but your talent for writing it makes us appreciate them that much more. I hope you continue writing here, because it enriches my appreciation for the little things that bring us all happiness. If not, I am grateful for what you have shared. Thank you.
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Please don’t leave. I need you. I’ve been too busy with my wild one with autism plus my fulltime job to write a supportive comment earlier. We have a saying in my country, “One madman throws a rock in a well. Ten smart men can’t get it out.” Don’t listen to that lowlife scumbag. Listen to us. Don’t take it personally. The meathead is angry at life and you just happened to be there.
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Amy I’m sorry someone left that terrible hurtful comment. Please don’t leave, I need to read your posts. We are going through something similar, and when I feel overwhelmed it helps me. If you remember we met up a couple months ago for lunch and we talked about my son David. Plus your writing is very good. 🙂
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My kids ask if he has been able to learn to swim or if you have to watch in the pool?
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Jonah somehow learned to swim on his own, when he was about 5. We did not teach him at all. However, I did dunk him under the water in a relative’s pool a lot when he was 4 months old. He loved it! Babies can instinctively hold their breath underwater until they are 6 months old or so. So maybe that’s why he was never afraid to get his face wet, go underwater, etc. He has never even once swallowed water or been anything but content in water of any kind. Streams, baths, ocean, waterfalls…. Of course he is supervised in the pool (he is 12 now) but it’s more to wonder at his dolphin-like underwater undulating lithe body than to play lifeguard. 🙂 Plus he is a Pisces named Jonah!
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