“There is no way that writers can be tamed and rendered civilized, or even cured. The only solution known to science is to provide the patient with an isolation room, where (s)he can endure the acute stages in private and where food can be poked in with a stick.”
Boo is much better. He has had good days since Andy dropped him back at his residence on Monday, and he has made only a few, easily-redirected attempts at touching his eye. Next Wednesday he will return to the surgeon doc so she can take a look at his progress. I am extremely grateful today – for this good news of Boo…for my mother, whose calm & clean routine (and psyche) were so severely disrupted for far too long. For my therapist and his insights…for all the friends and strangers and work clients who have reached out to me with such sincere caring and concerned support.
Today, though, I am particularly grateful for a new path I have chosen – one, in fact, chosen when I was perhaps just 8 or 9 years old: the path of the writer. It is about as easy a path at which to eke out a living as is any art, which is hard as hell. Finally, though, at the tender age of 43, I have done it – and in the most spectacularly amazing way, completely befitting my personality and skill-set. Now I make my living entirely from writing, and from home, on my computer, often in my jammies. Somehow I work far fewer hours and earn plenty — definitely enough – have amazing benefits and health insurance, and am working for (and with) an incredible group of philanthropists! It is only my first week and already they have expressed great pleasure at my work. The president actually told me it was an honor to be working with me. Me!
I write and I write and I write, with the peaceful company of Jack the dog and Almanzo the cat as comfort and companions. It is the bliss of one left alone to enter “the zone” a writer must find in order to have uninterrupted quiet to do what writers must do – what writers are compelled to do. I am blessed enough to have always known who I am and what I should be doing; I am doubly blessed today to be actually doing it; I am thrice blessed to be working for a charity unlike no other – helping the working poor to become self-sufficient. In fact the charity gives such a high percentage of its money to the people (and not to administrative costs) that it was a 2012 winner of the BBB’s “great non-profits top-rated award.” There are anonymous donors matching contributions all the time, so there is virtually nothing that does not get to the people for whom these grant programs are designed to help.
I’ve been a faithful donor to this charity for more than 10 years, as it has always made sense to me as a place to give my money — where hard-working people can find one-time help to get past a roadblock which would otherwise send them spiraling into the cycle of poverty. Now we are launching an exciting new grant program – and I get to be a part of doing all this good, while doing exactly what I love. I can’t express my gratitude enough and am constantly uttering thank you…thank you…thank you….for this is all I have ever dreamed of and more.
There is the temptation to express disappointment and hurt at the deafening silence from my ex co-workers who have evidently forgotten me & the many kindnesses, acts of support, and affirmation I have shown to them over the years when any of them were faced with family tragedy, personal challenges, illnesses, or just because I felt like committing acts of kindness – for not a single one of them has shown me any support or even acknowledged me with so much as a card – and there were a handful there I really did consider friends. But the hurt melts away when I realize I do not need to harbor any resentment or anger at all (and in fact it would be a waste of time) – for I am free now, and so very happy. I can only wish them all the same. Remember when Amy used to work here?
Thank you, God.
“Anyway” by Mother Teresa
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.