To the best of my knowledge Jonah has been a very good, happy boy for the past 5 days or so. Why? Nice spring days again. Playing outside, swinging high in the sunshine. The right dosage of meds finally. Divine intervention. Right now I don’t care.
Yesterday when we sent to see Jonah he was a very good, happy boy – and we did the usual things but he was having so much fun, laughing and singing, giggling and lovey. I took a few great pictures that capture his joy, and the feel of the day…
My mom drops me off after the visit and we look at one another: my long, bony hand holds her long, bony hand — and we say, sometimes in tandem, “Thank God.” I remind myself not to hope. Wait, that’s not quite right. Always there is hope inside me.
It’s more like the expectation of permanence I need to dissolve. I am so grateful. Now. Now. I am grateful now. Stay in this place, Amy. It’s the only place to be, really. Anything else is an illusion, the voice inside tells me.
“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this.”
~ Henry David Thoreau