I’m tired, and a little sick to my stomach from thinking about the pain my boo will be in – again. After the first eye surgery was the first time in his little life that he’d verbally expressed pain. “Eye hurt!?” he cried, more beg than announcement. Help me. Do something. Why do I feel this way? And we, helpless, holding him, rocking him, offering him pain meds that obviously weren’t working well enough.
Yesterday my mom and I drove down to see Jonah. We cycled through our routine – sandwich, bath, barbecue potato chips, black soda (or sometimes, now, cranberry juice), cookie. Jump jump jump on the bed. Car ride. “Daddy in backseat?” asked Jonah, but I can’t drive a stick and I wasn’t about to put my mom in arm’s reach of my volatile son, so Jonah had to settle for mama. On the ride he sang with me and then stared out the window, sucking his thumb two different ways:
Then we drove to the park, and visited the ducks
and he got to swing on his favorite swing
then on we drove, down to the river, where the train tracks run
When we were done there Jonah wanted another bath and The Wiggles, so we drove back to the apartment…
And all the while he seemed fine –but then he puked. My mom and I cleaned it up while Andy did the bath part. I am going to talk to the nutritionist ab0ut the possibility of stomach troubles with Jonah. He’s been throwing up kind of a lot.
He did very well for his rheumatologist appointment on Friday. Thank God it was indeed E and J again who drove him up to Albany; I guess it will pretty much always be them. You don’t know what it means to me to have them. I will never forget their kindness, to me and to my boo. Their ability to keep track of everything, keep Jonah busy, keep everything together –it’s all so awesome. I know I say this over and over but I can’t say it enough.
Still, I’m not at all looking forward to tomorrow.