I’d imagined Boo happy, playing, eating good food and watching videos, walking around the campus with one of the direct care workers, swimming in the pool, riding his scooter. I didn’t want to hear him to see us and remember – to cry mama, to ask for home or daddy – not yet. I didn’t want to have to drive away from him.
Archive for August, 2011
two visits: to boo, from irene
Posted in Anderson School, autism, grandma, The Anderson School for Autism, Uncategorized, tagged Hurricane Irene, playground, Rhinebeck, storm damage, uprooted maple tree on August 29, 2011 | 9 Comments »
we survived the 8-23-11 5.9 earthquake
Posted in Anderson School, autism, swimming, The Anderson School for Autism, Uncategorized, tagged Albany, angels, California, deer, earthquake, God, hawks, Mary, NY, Rhinebeck, saints on August 24, 2011 | 5 Comments »
Yesterday was Andy’s birthday. I made him a photo frame set with a bunch of pictures of he and Jonah. He’s moved down to an apartment in Rhinebeck already; yesterday I called a bank and locked in a 3.5% interest refinance on a mortgage so I can keep the house and give Andy his share. I am so glad, and a little jealous, that he is so close to Boo.
lessons and blessings
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Almanzo Wilder, autism, blessings, compassion, gratitude, kindness, Laura Ingalls Wilder, lessons, love on August 21, 2011 | 8 Comments »
My world is now near-free of dread. I don’t mean the “damn, tomorrow is Monday and I have to go to work” dread. I mean the dread that lives inside you and owns you. The kind that makes you steel-stiff & come unglued – the kind that’s unrelenting, ubiquitous – there all at once, all the time, even in your dreams, for whatever the reason. ‘Capital D’ Dread. It’s gone. I am not going to show up to work with scratches on my face and I am not going to trudge into LensCrafters again and again with broken glasses to have my glasses repaired by S, who I’ve seen so many times we are almost friends.
elvis has left the building, but boo arrives
Posted in Anderson School, autism, behavior, swimming, The Anderson School for Autism, Uncategorized, tagged 34, admission day, deer, elvis, hawk, sanx, The Anderson School for autism on August 18, 2011 | 16 Comments »
Tuesday was a series of one weird, strange, amazing events after another, most of which occurred after we’d left Jonah behind at the school. And everything has been surreal since.
Jonah Russell “Boo” Krebs was admitted into the Anderson Center for Autism 34 years later to the day Elvis Presley died. There’s a reason I noted the Elvis connection but I don’t want you to think I’m creating connections where they don’t exist, schizophrenia-style, so I’ll let that fact just sit there for now.
i’m here, & humbled
Posted in Uncategorized on August 17, 2011 | 7 Comments »
I’m going to come back soon and tell the whole strange and mournful (and so much more) story, but before that I want to lie on the bed and do nothing. But before that I want to thank every one of you for praying, reaching out, sharing, virtual hugging, and holding us in your hearts. [...]
this strange & mournful day
Posted in Uncategorized on August 16, 2011 | 19 Comments »
“No I would not give you false hope On this strange and mournful day But the mother and child reunion Is only a motion away… Oh, little darling of mine I can’t for the life of me Remember a sadder day I know they say let it be But it just don’t work out that [...]
far away
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Guster on August 15, 2011 | 5 Comments »
You’re probably dreaming that you’re flying on
and you start to fall
But then you rise
and shine forever
tomorrow
Posted in Anderson School, Uncategorized, tagged Winnie the Pooh on August 15, 2011 | 2 Comments »
“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. i’ll always be with you.”
Winnie the Pooh
words
Posted in Uncategorized on August 14, 2011 | 4 Comments »
I can’t talk anymore. If you e-mail, or text, or call, or twitter me and I do not answer, please know it is only because i just can’t. The words have left me. I’ll borrow words from books or songs or quotes until my own words come back. I find hope in the darkest of [...]
invisible
Posted in autism, tagged Antoine de Saint Exupéry, invisible, The Little Prince, what is most important on August 12, 2011 | 2 Comments »
‘What I see here is nothing but a shell. What is most important is invisible . . .’”
